break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
