I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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