I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
