I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
