There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
