it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
