Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
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You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
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possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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