we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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