I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
