So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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