I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
