found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
