Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
