Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
