Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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