Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You ruined the universe
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
