he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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