I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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