I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
