I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
