Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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