Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
