It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize