but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My pussy is not your playground.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
