i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
