One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
