I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
