Are we in a gay sports bar?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
