that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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