We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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