this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
