My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
