From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
