as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
