She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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