how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
