Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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