Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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