i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You made out with two different species that night
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
