# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
