So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize