Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
