plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
