What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
