your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
