And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
