i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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