That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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