Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
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Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
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on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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