It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
