oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We need to rekindle our bromance
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
