At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
