A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
