don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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