Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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