I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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