There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
