Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
