shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
