I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I love having hate sex.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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