when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize