You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize