Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
