I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
