Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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