I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
