You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
