I wanna passion pit in your ass
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
